my husband left me because he was unhappy

In his mind he asked for emotions and he asked for love and he didnt get it for me. A wife might explain: "my husband was the one who decided to leave. Her head kept onto the tear-soaked pillow feels like bursting with pain while she thinks about why her husband left her for another woman. But I am steadily going forward. REALLY??? Falling out of love in a marriage happens over time and is usually due to neglect on the part of one or both partners. Information about what to do in a crisis is available here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. I suspected something was going on with her why she broke and i taught she was seeing someone and maybe this guy from before.. Also my ex husband stole 25k. How can we say such things to each other, and then she goes away with him? I wish I could take the pain away!I cant bear the thought this might take years to get over. When he left me, my mother was furious . Maybe once I can accept that then Ill start to move on, at least from crying and feeling like I cant and dont want to even get out of bed. I knew he was insecure and this got to him, but I never really thought to deep into it until he cheated on me a few weeks ago. Good luck if you think this fits him. But things with him have never been logical. He probably misses the way things used to be. He was my rock. Inner wisdom can move you forward. Same situation, married 18 years, 2 girls.not sure if she had somebody else, but I have a feeling,,,wont talk to me at all. I am so sorry you are going true this, I am feeling your pain. If children are involved, people in your network can offer as surrogate caretakers for your kids so that you can have some time to heal and recover from the hurt.. I have struggled with anger issues for quite a large portion of my life. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. I had a thousand questions, but they all boiled down to "why?" Didnt help.im so lost .i juat dont know what to do anymore.its just about killed me ive not gotten any better. For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. So Im on my own, hence the online searching for advice. By then I was so in shock I was actually dying from not eating. If you need someone to vent just reach out to me. She knows not what she does. Well then I would follow up at the dirt cheap stores where she was getting this butane from and I was able to get identification that she was still purchasing this stuff. After she moved out I found out she was in a realationship with another man my wife had many affairs I tried to work things out but they just didnt stop this was the 2nd on in less than 2 yes not sure how to feel right now It is so hard I cant seem to grasp how she can move on so quickly. We had a good but quiet weekend. She had no ex or children and is at the age where perhaps she thought she was going to be left on the shelf. He said he filed for divorce and that was a blow to my heart after he told me he was not even considering it. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. Thanks CassieD. Hello, I have a question about coping with my wife leaving me for someone else. Because if you still love your spouse, what you really need is a plan of attack to mend your marriage. It is just devastating Im loosing her and also wont see my kids as much. Rage that would be primarily directed towards friends and family. By the time I turned 50, menopause was in full swing and took a toll on our marriage during the first year. So your husband left you for somebody else? She explains its natural to feel guilt, as its the bodys way of making sense of something unfathomable. Dog depression is similar to the kind we as humans experience. I dont know if I should trust him. And my daughter swore she counted 12 stacks after her mother went upstairs. I am lost. I realised then this was serious and we were in trouble. I broke down and hit the ultimate low and the very next day she used it and stripped me of custody and I didnt get to see my kids for 7 months. Jacob While its normal and noble to immediately feel like you would be willing and able to get over this infidelity its important that you know one thing. He had decided that this life, our life, wasnt for him. They are in love apparently and plan on living together and getting married down the road. Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. Im in so much pain physically. She and I know the marriage was no longer a marriage and to carry on would be a sham. I still find myself wanting her back, I miss her. All 3 girls are Daddys girls. He was determined. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. He called me on his way home that night and told me he loved me that day, then gone. So cold, so heartless and has absolutely zero consideration for me. b) they get sick c) you are unfortunate enough to owe them money ( or as they think, owe them a life ) what happens to a child or sibling of one as they grow older. I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with, I didnt feel like a 20 year old. It ended as I couldnt cope with casual and then I had to tell husband because I was so ill. Three months on, I am still totally in love with him. I built her flower boxes and a deck box, even a storage rack for her kayaks and canoe. For me, it was a kind of deadness. I hate life right now, she wants nothing to do with me, my work is suffering Im suffering, shes telling everyone how happy she is and Im so lost. stop letting him treat you like a paper plate and let someone treat you like fine china. But we have a 13 year old son together, and hes a wonderful boy. Put me down controlled me ..I Was a walking living breathing definition of a battered husband. I dont know how to handle this situation. I hope that your marriage works out and you and your husband will be happy once again together. On Valentines day, she decided to tell me she doesnt love me and has in fact hated me for the last 15 years, though showed no signs of it. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). He will probably wake up in a few years and regret this selfish act and damaging decision. Always go with your gut instinct and protect yourself until you feel safe again. Your worth a lot more than a cheater. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and it's OK to express grief: "You're grieving the loss of this relationship, what . She said that she doesnt want my money.But Im sorry but it is pretty hard to trust her after what she has done.I still love her,after all we have been together for almost 28 yrs. If you noticed, we mentioned reading self-help books. If you are Christian, pray for there be justice n conviction lay upon your wife heart n soul n she will come to realization her mistake as she will not receive happiness by doing wrong to others. But wow now three months of this has gone by and it only gets worse. The very best i could do is tip toe and stear her away from the many triggers for her depression and rage. No, Im not saying that you need to forget all that happened. How to cope: Work on taking responsibility for your part, forgiving yourself for what you could have done differently, and letting go of how you think it should have been. The whole time that she was awake she was on her Kindle playing Trivia and conversing with men. He also had a cop come stand by when he got his stuff from the house . I then made the mistake of writing down what had happened to me when I was a child (I had, over the years, told my wife all of this this was my first time ever writing it down) and from completely out of the blue my wifes response was to say that she knows Im in pain over all of this but that she no longer loves me, and that she wants a divorce, and that she does not see us ever getting back together. Im surprised falling out of love is listed as one of the reasons. I cried out to him and said, Why are you leaving!? I understand this. But I still love her, more than those words could ever describe. My oldest (6 at the time) came downstairs crying and gagging, I continually asked what was wrong and as she caught her breath she explained mommy was kissing another man and he was sleeping in my bed. Unfortunately many people become dissatisfied in marriages even when there are no problems. God wants HIS values to be lived out, more than our temporary satisfaction and happiness. May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us. My husband did the same thing to me. My husband went away on a trip with a friend and came back depressed and unhappy with his life. Im glad youre getting counselling as I think this has hurt you deeply and will need mending from your core. So, I have been married to my husband for 14 1/2 years. Still I feel compelled to tell you that I understand. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better, thats what I keep thinking & one of these times I will. "Dogs pick up on our emotions, so if the owner has died, the dog could be responding to the grief of others," Beaver said. A few weeks have now passed and Xmas has come and gone and no kids for me, nothing. He would attempt to hide his porn addiction by holing up in the loft in our garage when I was not home. Cant stop crying and hate being alone for even 1 hour. She threatened the same thing back in 2006 but begged to come back when I called her on it. Now is dating a married woman who walked out on her husband and kids to be with mine. I swear up and down that I wont go back with her but I know that her not taking her meds had a lot to do with us separating. Is there something wrong with me. My niece has cancer and dying. My wife denies it. OMG just more Internet divorce encouragement. I am now about to head home and face this reality even though I didnt want to . This was a deliberate act carried out by those who are unethical and immoral. I have no answers.she wont tell me why she left.the only thing she will say is file for divorce. All the sudden a the end of the 30 days, he wanted to come home and go to counseling. Its like he wants to keep me down. You can find online communities everywhere. We are now 10 months after the filing and he has left again, stating he is trying to get his head straight. I am ashamed to have to say it but I can only accept what is and continue to try to be the best father I can for them each and every weekend when I get them. Good luck with Thanksgiving maybe they will be nicer to you this year since youre going through this nightmare. He saw a friend of mine recently and told her that he was upset by the split and still really loved me but he wont talk. I told her actions speak louder than words and ur refusing to talk but abandoning me to leave the state. He was mean, angry and a totally crazy. She packed all of her things and moved in with her mother after I found out. I give everything to her. The morning came and he started screaming at me. . If he was the man for me he wouldnt of left me. They sent phony legal documents to my mom, son and even my lawyer?? She has a steady job and will not leave it. Please send me strength. She has always suffered from mental health issues and I have been there for her come hell or high water. My experience has taught me that you can only rely on one person in this world to love you unconditionally and that is Jesus. Its a partnership, a friendshipcouples give up way too easy. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. Medical lot are checking daily but there is nothing I can do. She said that she is doing this out of love because she cant fully give herself to me. I also found out she was picking up meds for patients . Someone please help I feel like dying inside but I dont want to loose him I am in pain cant stop crying . According to Han, finding that connection in family and friends quickly can be very important, especially if children are involved. one big reason for her change,A year ago she quit taking antidepressant meds cold turkey and went through menopause at the same time, and it made her change not just mentally, but physically she totally changed her appearance. I am doing my best to just not communicate with him. Well the local man who wrecked his own marriage got to her and then she was after him. That I am dead to him. How about being married to a Sociopath who hid his traits before marriage and afterwards used emotional, verbal and physical abuse to control you, who isolated you from family and gave nothing while taking everything. I have had 15 yrs of therapy along with institutional treatment, CBT, outpatient care thousands of AA Meetings and lots of retreats. I understand its a problem, but I can not figure out a way to stop it Good luckto us bothwe will be OK though. He said there was no one else and now he is back in his country parading around with someone else whom I have heard he plans to marry. The first time was right after I had our first child. Thats not because of you, its because of her. And apparently he was to busy to reply,really awkward as we know work together ( why did he take job Iif he was going to do this) so feel only option is to return his posessions as he wont give me an answer, have asked if he doesnt love me any more to just say, etc etc, know just want to move on but he obviously thinks its fare to leave me in no mans land ! See a priest????? I am livid with her, but at the same time I love her, and would do anything to be able to sort things out and get us back together. I also lost my mother nine months ago. This is often the most painful reason for a leaving, but its also sometimes the easiest to accept. I always try to communicate with her pushing to know whats going on but she will pick offence and let in argument. by Next thing I know, I was finding that he had taken all my jewelry including gifts he had given me and the pink slip to the vehicle we owned together. The papers are signed. I hate to be blunt, but to me it sounds like she likes the best of both worlds. The first reaction is to blame blame blame. I cant imagine being in this apartment we have been in for so long together and staring at all the memories and these walls and being able to move on and be happy. Anyway, I know it takes time. I hope u can sort your situation so you are not left rearing the kids by yourself. Me finding pills over and over hidden in her car. She recently lost her father and she had hatred for her step mom not letting my wife have a relationship with her father. Sorry for your heartache. DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend, "George," and his 88-year-old father, "Frank." Frank is not your average 88-year-old. He is divorced and has 2 young girls. So sorry jason.My wife just left me after 28 yrs.I know the pain.Its time to find someone else.who will appreciate People are self-centered and do not think of the people they hurt. it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? I figured it just didnt work out with them but now our baby is 10 months and he does not pay bills help clean help with the kids. Eric, was the suicide a result of his relationship troubles with your ex? I am going to visit my parents and I will be back. Then the answer is simple she wasnt the one for me and it got me thinking how bad of a person she was to me . No no no! Dear Tim Despite the length of a relationship, each partner must be committed to doing their share of the work, and communicating their own needs. I dont owe you anything. What You Need to Know When Your Partner Leaves. 2. My advice is let it be man, theres no point of crying over spoiled milk.u cant respect a woman that made a choice like that. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. Im 33. I havent slept in 3 days and eating is very minimal. Really she is 60. Technically, there was no reason that I should have still been in such pain yet I was. This story was written by Niamh Tracey of Dublin, Ireland. Really just venting now and it does help. All rights reserved. I finally waited by the locker and he finally came to the locker 4 hours. He wants to have a better paying job, to provide for us better, and he cant seem to do that having us here, so he is sending me, along with our daughter, and my 2 sons packing. How do I get thru this pain? Take care Don. When we met we had both been divorced so we started with the big stuff. Tonight while in bed at my place we had an argument. Sleeping in the spare room shows separation and guilt. Its awful. Sometimes when a person leaves, they are unhappy not because they dont love you, but because they are hiding something. Always remember that just because the past didn't turn . Take time to really get to know who you are dealing with. With regard to Barbis comment, the article is written under the divorce section so I am speaking to people who are completely uncommitted and have left, or the abandoned partner who has no choice in the matter. Feels like Im physically dying. And the same is true of your new companion. Its been hard. As the weeks turn into Month I am beginnning to think it was for the best. That was not even all my husband and his girlfriend did. I hope things are going a little better. But most of the time do not want to come home. The obvious answer is he is sleeping with the friend. Very sad and bewildering for those of us in long term relationships. One thing I am scared of is that my heart as sensible to all the facts as is it is not closed towards him. This order is supposed to save lives not ruin them. I care about love and passion and family, but if I tell him he laughs and says we dont need that. I wish you all the best finding the new you and someone who loves you for who you really are!! Do not let what God has put together be destroyed by a man/woman or their actions. Its truly disgusting. I do not know if it is love. My husband of 20years has just told hes leaving me that hes not in love with me anymore and has been living a lie for the past year!! His response was that he thought about it and couldnt go through with it because he couldnt hurt me. Try to relinquish anger and resentment to create space for understanding and growth. Depressed partners regret leaving very often, yes, but it should not be a pattern. (Her x comitted suicide when I met her). You deserve to be happy, bottom line. You can meet new people, try new things, and pursue your dreams .

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